When we feel a deep connection with someone, when we start to foster a lot of hope within that connection, and we are allowing for ourselves to be vulnerable, and we are allowing someone into our lives and into our hearts, as people who feel deeply — that holds a lot of weight. It stands for something. So when those connections suddenly disappear, when this person or this friend leaves our lives without any explanation, when we have to set that hope down, that is so deeply dismantling. It can leave us feeling hurt, and incredibly confused. When this kind of loss occurs in our lives, when we don’t receive the closure we would so compassionately give to others, the main thing a human being is left to wonder is why? Why do we treat one another like this?
Uncertainty is uncomfortable, and when we are not given the opportunity to understand why something had to end, when we are not given the opportunity to comprehend, and learn from an experience, to learn from a loss in a way that is constructive, and kind, when we are not given that reasoning, we can start to create that reasoning ourselves.That is why ghosting can weigh so heavily on a human heart. The cruelty of ghosting is that you have to invent the reason for it, because that person has failed to explain it to you. You have to give yourself your own closure, you have to write your own ending.
And unfortunately, we automatically tell ourselves a negative story. We make it about us. We make it about lack. Our deepest insecurities are almost scratched upon. We mull over what we could have done differently. We speak the moments from our minds, we try to lay them out on the kitchen floor, comb through them for signs, for any insight into why we were treated this way by someone we genuinely cared about or could have cared about.
It’s time to give yourself the closure you so deeply want from this person. We spend too long in this life wishing people could be different than they are. But we can’t change people. And we can’t change the way they left our lives. But we can control what we take from the experience. We can take control of the narrative, and remind ourselves that we deserve people in our lives who are kind and gentle with our hearts. We deserve goodness, and compassion. We deserve empathy. We deserve to meet people who honor who we are, and who are honest with themselves, and who know what they want. We deserve that kind of love, that kind of friendship, that kind of connection. We deserve to feel valued, and cared for.
If you ever find yourself in this scenario – and if you’re single, you likely will – here are some helpful tips on how to handle the dreaded Ghosting :
1. Sure, be upset or disappointed – but not for long.
Look, it sucks when something we’re excited about ends this way, but it doesn’t mean this was necessarily a perfect match. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise and the universe saved you from a big loser. Maybe you REALLY liked this person on Date 1 but on Date 2 you would’ve learned more and grown to hate them. It’s OK to be bummed, a little butt-hurt or even ego-bruised, but you can’t dwell on it. This was not meant to be.
2. Get pissed.
Ya know what? F*$k that guy/girl. They don’t wanna call YOU again? Whatever, they told you their favorite show was ‘Big Bang Theory’ so clearly they have horrendous taste. And honestly, do they think they’re BETTER than you or something? Cause they most certainly are not. They were lucky to even get your phone number let alone MEET you and they should be thankful you even gave them the chance. Good luck finding someone better…loser.
3. Laugh about it.
I was ghosted semi-recently and my girlfriends and I joked over dinner one night that the dude was OBVIOUSLY dead. He was super into me and couldn’t wait to see me again but somehow tragically died after we met and that was that. Clearly this wasn’t true (because Facebook stalking showed me he was, in fact, still alive) but making a big ole’ stupid joke out of it made the whole thing funnier and therefore not a big deal.
4. Don’t beat yourself up.
We’re all guilty of this, but if/when we get ghosted we tend to run through the entire ordeal to try and figure out where we went wrong. “Maybe he didn’t know I was kidding in that last text.” “Maybe I shouldn’t have told her I like One Direction.” “I KNEW I shouldn’t have gone out with him when I felt bloated!” Ugh, staaaaaahhhhhp. You could have been stood up for ANY reason; many of those reasons having *nothing* to do with you. Regardless, it’s not worth beating yourself up over. You’re amazing and this person didn’t see it. #ByeFelicia.
5. MOVE ON.
It’s done. They’re just not that into you. It’s fine; it’s life. It goes on. Go back out there, meet someone else and have fun. Delete the Ghost’s contact info from your phone, wipe out the text convos, de-friend on social media and call it a damn day. They’re not worth the stress and aggravation of agonizing over it and overthinking every minute. C’est la vie.
Right now, you might still be mourning the loss of their potential, you might be holding all of that hope inside of you, and that is okay. Feel your feelings, you are allowed to be upset about the way something transpired, about having to set all of that love down, even if you are now aware of how deeply this person is not for you. It takes time. So, for now, whenever you feel your heart ache and bubble over with regret or sadness, remind yourself that you gave something your all, and someone did not value that. Someone could not meet that. You want someone who can.
In the end of the text u can watch the videos that i used to make a procedure text and I usually read they blog too here the link of the blog thoughtcatalog.com
Name : Erika Safrina Azizah 
Class : 12 Social 02